Some words feel heavier than they should. Submission is one of them. It has been misused by the world, misapplied by the Church, and misunderstood by generations. So at its hearing, we flinch. But perhaps the word isn’t the problem, perhaps our view is.
What if submission was not about power, but about peace?
What if it wasn’t a burden placed on a wife, but a glory first found in God?
What if we stopped looking from the ground up, and began as all things must, from heaven’s perspective to creation?
Colossians 3:18 says,
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
This isn’t a leftover from another time, it is a calling shaped by Christ Himself. The household instructions held in Colossians 3, given to wives and husbands, children and fathers, servants and masters, are not fragments of a bygone era. They are ways Christ is revealed through His followers in the everyday rhythms of the home.
To see submission rightly, we must reverse the lens direction. When we begin in the heart of God, pass through the cross of Christ, walk with the Church, and finally arrive in the home, submission is no longer something to avoid; it becomes something to treasure.
Let’s begin where all things begin: in the eternal Godhead.
View 1: Submission in the Godhead
Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 11:3
“The head of Christ is God.”
“God is the head of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:3), does not imply inequality within the Trinity but reveals the relational order of God’s redemptive mission. The Son, equal in essence and glory with the Father (John 1:1; Colossians 1:15), submits joyfully and willingly, not out of compulsion but as an act of glorious love. His obedience is not weakness, but the radiant choreography of divine unity.
“Head” (Greek kephalē) speaks not merely of authority, but of source and responsibility: the Father gives, the Son obeys unto death, and the Spirit glorifies and empowers. Christ’s incarnate dependence sets the pattern for our own lives marked not by striving but by surrender. In this ordering, Paul is not unraveling the Trinity. He is unveiling the beauty of a God who sends in love, submits in joy, and saves by grace.
Jesus said,
“The Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing” (John 5:19).
This isn’t about being lesser; it’s about walking in the beauty of God’s design. In the Godhead, submission is a joy shared between equals.
“I glorified You on the earth… Now… glorify Me together with Yourself” (John 17:4–5).
“He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself…” (Philippians 2:6–7).
From the beginning, God designed marriage with this same relational order (Genesis 2:18, 24), not to diminish the woman, but to reveal something of His eternal glory. The Trinity becomes our starting point, not because it is abstract but because it is actual. Submission flows not from sin, but from the very being of God.
Core Belief: Submission begins in the Trinity, where perfect love orders perfect mission.
Reflection Question: Do I see God’s ordering in the Trinity as beautiful, and trust that biblical submission reflects His glory?
Why this matters: If we don’t begin with the relational beauty of the Godhead, we’ll view submission as control rather than communion.
View 2: Submission in Christ
Key Verse: Philippians 2:8–9
“He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death… therefore God highly exalted Him.”
When Jesus came to earth, submission became perfectly defined and displayed through Him.
The eternal Son, equal with the Father in glory, took on flesh, not to erase His authority but to express divine love through obedience. What is true in the Trinity in Heaven, the Bible witnesses in Christ’s coming: the Son submitting not in weakness, but in holy resolve. “Though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor” (2 Corinthians 8:9). And “although He was a Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8).
In Gethsemane, He prayed,
“Not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42)
Not with clenched fists, but with open hands.
Every step toward the cross was chosen, not forced. From the cradle to the tomb, Jesus fulfilled the mission entrusted to Him by the Father. His submission wasn’t incidental; it was the very road of our salvation.
“Through the obedience of the One, the many will be made righteous” (Romans 5:19).
“Through Him… all things were reconciled” (Colossians 1:20).
Christ’s submission is our pattern for kingdom living. He shows us that glory is not grasped through self-assertion, but received through self-giving. In submitting to the Father, Christ wasn’t shrinking. He was restoring. His submission did not lessen His divinity; it revealed it.
In God’s good design, a wife's submission isn't about losing her identity or voice. It’s about reflecting the humility and love of Christ, who gave Himself up that others might live.
Core Belief: Submission was revealed in Christ, who obeyed unto death to redeem and restore all things.
Reflection Question: Am I willing to follow Christ’s example of submission, even when it costs me, so that His love might be seen through me?
Why this matters: If we view submission apart from Christ, we’ll see it as loss. But in Him, submission becomes the way God’s power and love are made visible.
View 3: Submission in the Church
Key Verse: Colossians 1:18
“He is also head of the body, the church… so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.”
What Christ revealed in Himself, He now forms in His people. The Church is not a crowd of individuals; it is His Body. And in that Body, submission is not just commanded; it is cultivated. We submit not only because Christ is our Head, but because the Spirit forms in us a posture of worship, humility, and love.
Submission is not reserved for wives. It is the calling of every believer.
“Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ” (Ephesians 5:21)
“Present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice… which is your spiritual service of worship” (Romans 12:1)
This is the posture of every follower of Jesus, not just some. In a Church shaped by grace, leadership stoops to serve and members yield to one another, not out of fear, but out of holy reverence.
At the Last Supper, Jesus rose, took a towel, and washed His disciples’ feet.
“If I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14)
This is gospel-shaped community. This is Christ in us.
When the Church surrenders to Christ and submits to one another, we don’t lose ourselves. We become a body, moving together under the Head who gave Himself up for us.
Core Belief: Submission is the Spirit-formed posture that shapes our worship, our relationships, and our witness to the world.
Reflection Question: Is my life within the Church marked by mutual surrender, shaped by Christ’s example, and empowered by His Spirit?
Why this matters:
If we treat submission as burdensome or optional, we miss the design of the Body. But when we walk in humility toward one another, the Church becomes a living picture of Christ who gave Himself for us all.
View 4: Submission in the Home
Key Verse: Colossians 3:18
“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
The home is not disconnected from heaven. It is one of the clearest places where the gospel is meant to be seen. After tracing submission from the Trinity to the cross and into the Church, we now arrive at marriage. Our eyes are not blinded to a list of rules, but opened with a vision of Christ formed in everyday love and order.
Paul’s instruction is not cultural commentary; it is covenantal clarity. The verb used here, ὑποτάσσεσθε (hupotássesthe), is richly layered:
- present tense – an ongoing practice
- middle/passive voice – best understood here as freely and willingly offered
- imperative mood – a command shaped by grace, not control
- plural – addressed to all wives in the community, not selectively applied
Literally it means “place yourselves under,” not because your husband has earned it, but because Christ is worthy. Submission isn’t about passivity. It’s about participating in God’s good design.
“As is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18)
“As to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22)
“So that the word of God will not be dishonored” (Titus 2:5)
“So that they may be won without a word” (1 Peter 3:1)
In Scripture, submission in marriage is never framed as inferiority; it is pictured as testimony. Just as the Church’s submission to Christ is beautiful, so a wife’s submission becomes a visible reflection of trust, peace, and love in the home.
In Christ, submission is not about erasure or silence; it becomes a testimony of life, trust, grace, and peace.
And for the one reading this who has seen the call to submission distorted by sin: yes, it has been misused. But the misuse of a gift should not lead us to discard it. In Christ, the gospel reclaims what the world has twisted.
Core Belief: Submission is reflected in marriage. It is a sacred participation in Christ’s love and a witness to the watching world.
Reflection Question: Is my view of submission shaped more by past pain, or by the truth of the gospel?
Why this matters:
Without Christ, submission feels like oppression. But in Him, it becomes a lived testimony of how the Church follows her Savior, and how Christ laid Himself down in love.
A Final Word
This isn’t about silence. Or suffering. Or shrinking back. It’s about Christ seen in love, order, and grace. This is a call to reflect the divine order, the cross-shaped love of Christ, the shared surrender of the Church, and the sacred witness of the home.
Submission is not an isolated role. It is a participation in the glory of God.
Not a loss of voice, but an echo of Christ.
And let this also be said with clarity:
Submission is never permission for abuse.
It is not a license for control, manipulation, or harm. Any use of Colossians 3:18 that isolates a woman, strips her voice, or threatens her safety is not from the heart of God; it is a twisting of His Word. Christ does not dominate His Bride; He lays down His life for her.
If you are in a marriage marked by physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual abuse, know that submission does not mean staying silent or staying unsafe. Christ does not ask you to endure harm in His name. Reach out to a trusted pastor, counselor, legal authority, or friend. You are not alone, and seeking help is not ungodly rebellion. It is holy wisdom, courage, and faith in the God who sees and saves.
To the wife who has felt the weight of distorted submission: you are not forgotten. You are not second. You are sacred.
And here is the mystery: You are not alone in this calling. Christ, who submitted in love, now lives in you. It’s no longer just your obedience; it’s His life being faithful in yours.
So to every wife reading this: Your submission matters, not because your husband is flawless, but because your Savior is. Your “yes” to God resounds in heaven.
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18, NASB95)
“Yes, Lord. From heaven to home.”
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